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Playful and Pleasurable: Experience BDSM
Let’s look beyond leather, handcuffs and Fifty Shades – what lies at the core of the desire to practice BDSM? What is all the buzz about? During the course of a two-day-workshop, we will look into BDSM as a very straightforward way to communicate and play out desires and fantasies with our bodies and minds. Often vague images of “torture instruments“ complicate a relaxed approach, sometimes ideas of stereotypes are too much in the focus of attention. Therefore putting specific techniques and toys aside for the moment, we will focus on the actual experiences that may be gained through practising BDSM. So what constitutes a BDSM-experience? Typically, there’s a twist in a situation that accounts for a particular thrill and transforms its character. Meaning, the situation or input is experienced differently than what we would “normally“ expect. Conflicted feelings may occur, for example the simultaneous experience of lust and pain, or the desire to fight against versus the desire to yield to something or someone. BDSM leads us to a vast, strange and beautiful wealth of sometimes complex perceptions and feelings which are beyond those who are “classically“ connected with lust, love and sex. In regard to the unknown, the experience of BDSM is not unlike a small personal adventure. So let’s experiment, open our minds and try stuff! How does it (really) feel? As a first step, we will create a space in which we will experiment with the sensuality of stimuli and actions which are not traditionally interpreted as sensual. We will experience together how “non-erotically charged“ items may be used to evoke feelings of joy and lust. Even items that are traditionally connected with being painful, may be used in gentle and pleasing ways. One topic of discussion will be the intense, yet controlled, use of strenght. If we know how to handle our physical force, we acquire the potential to have a wonderful and effective way to experience our bodies, for example to provide security to one another. While gentle and “scarce“ use of strenght can be beautiful, it might also feel frustrating. As well, the change between gentle and powerful can be very interesting. We will look at the nature of the situation, in which a gradually heightened stimulus slowly grows into pain. The beginning pain will not be uncomfortable, but instead rather feel energizing. We will experiment with different possibilities on how to enjoy certain amounts of pain: Through our breathing, tension, relaxation, as well as through our own headspace: „fighting“ against pain, relaxing our mind into it, using the power of eye-contact and a whole lot more. It will become apparent, how the experience of pain can evoke a range of feelings from lust and intense focus to a meditative state of mind. Another topic will be physical restriction in form of erotic bondage, which we will approach as an intensified and strong way to hold and be held. Like holding and hugging, bondage can evoke feelings of safety and protection. On the other hand we can “fight“ and “lose“ against those ropes, tense up our muscles, let ourselves relax, just let it happen, just enjoy. We will primarily discuss the feelings connected with bondage, but still let you know ways to tie somebody willing up in a practical, fast and simple manner. Another very dominating (pun intended) aspect of BDSM is the frequent imbalance of power and different roles in a play, which both can be used in a lot of ways. For example: The active person (sometimes called the “Top“) controls, does and decides, while the passive person (sometimes called the “Bottom“) gives up control, takes directions, obeys, lets themselves be led. How does it feel to submit to someone, out of your free will? How does it feel to be “forced“ to submit? What experience and pleasure lies in playing both sides? “Top“ may for example be allowed to lead, to shape the game, to get what they want. “Bottom“ may for example be allowed to give up a certain amount of responsibility, get cared for, be protected. We will look into submission and submissive feelings as well as other feelings a “Bottom“ may have for a “Top“ during a game, and vice versa. BDSM works well for consenting adults who actively want to do whatever they plan to do. Naturally, we will also talk about limits – how to get to know them, how to respect them, how to stay as safe as you want – and how to still have a lot of fun. Technique is not dominating in this workshop, but neither forgotten: There will be the opportunity to look at BDSM-playware as well as learn to play with it, with our guidance and know-how to back you up. Safety is key, so we will help to raise your awareness for a physically and psychologically safe way to practice your BDSM. Experienced BDSM-players who are interested in physical types of plays, beginners who are looking for first clues and people who are curious to experience something different, are all welcome at this workshop. If you have already experienced Frank and Sheila in action, you know there will be pleasure as well as a lot of laughter. Individuals as well as moresomes of any gender are welcome. We will use a waiting list in order to keep a well-balanced sex/gender-ratio at the workshop. Dates of our workshops |
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